The Tenant Paradox
by moxearlee
Summary: When new tenants move into 5A, Sheldon goes through great lengths to prove they're engaging in illegal activities. However, not even he, Dr. Cooper, could predict the actual truth. Eventual Sheldon/OC pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**The Tenant Paradox **

**Chapter One: The Work Reaction **

"Hey. Spock."

Sheldon whipped his head toward the unannounced voice. There, standing casually next to the washer machines, was a young woman.

While Sheldon had never met any of the other tenants living in the apartment, his edict memory let him keep tabs of at least what they looked like—just in case any of the fools decided to sneak in and steal his brilliant ideas.

Or worse, his comics.

The girl, however, was not filed away. She was new. Different.

Like a white blood cell discovering a foreign entity within the body, Sheldon's inner alarm went off.

The young woman didn't seem to notice. Instead, she asked, "Do you have a quarter?"

Sheldon continued staring. He did not want to start a conversation with this outsider in fear that she would become Penny 2.0. But social protocol dictated that he help a woman in a time of need. Unless said woman was homeless. In that case, he was justified in not helping her, given she probably brought about her own financial crisis with a drug or QVC addiction.

Thus, Sheldon asked, "Are you homeless?"

The stranger appeared baffled. "Ex…cuse me?"

The scientist huffed, annoyed by her confusion. He explained, "How do I know you're not a wandering hobo who meandered in here in an attempt to do free laundry? Or a quarter for drugs?"

It was the girl's turn to stare blankly. "If I was a wandering hobo then how would I have the means to have clothes in the first place?" she replied carefully. "And why would I go through the trouble of sneaking into a locked apartment complex when I could easily find a Laundromat?"

"You might intend to steal our belongings," Sheldon responded deadpan, as if this explanation was the most logical conclusion.

The girl thought for a moment before countering, "It would still be easier to steal people's things at a Laundromat."

"Point taken," Sheldon conceded. "Here."

He handed her a quarter and then continued his meticulous folding. The girl looked at him skeptically. For a moment, she debated introducing herself. But who knew. Maybe he was just, you know, special.

"I'm Cleo," she said. "I moved into 5A."

Sheldon's head jerked up from his folding. Not only was this new specimen encroaching on his laundry time, she had moved into the apartment above his own.

"I see," he said conversationally. "I'm Sheldon. Nice to meet you."

Cleo smiled, thinking the pleasantries had been exchanged.  
>Far from it.<p>

Yet before Sheldon could engaged Cleo in an extensive survey about her living habits, Penny entered the laundry room.

"Hey, Sheldon, did you see if I left any of my underwear down here?"

"Oh," Cleo exclaimed mildly, "I went ahead and folded them on top of the dryer over there. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," Penny said, gathering the under garments. "Most of the tenants here just leave them in a heap on the ground. Or string them up on a telephone pole."

At the last comment Sheldon's head jerked up slightly, but he persisted with his folding.

"I'll keep that in mind," Cleo laughed, and closed the washer.

"Are you new?" Penny asked.

Sheldon tried to restrain himself from intervening. The seeds of future interaction were being planted and he wanted no part of it. There were already enough interlopers in his small circle of friends. The last thing it needed was one more woman to complicate their social-sphere with her sexuality.

"Yeah," Cleo replied. "My roommate and I got here from Portland yesterday. We're waiting for some of our stuff to be delivered."

_Two of them_? Sheldon thought. Oh, the catastrophe.

Penny, meanwhile, was observing the newcomer. She was pretty, but not threateningly, like the last girl. She had short, cropped, wavy hair, and an undistinguished face. She was very short too, and thin as a stick—no bust at all, just a slight curve in her hips, and an average butt. Then again, she was only wearing a T-shirt and gym shorts. Her eyes were very striking even without make up. And Penny could tell by the way she talked that she had confidence without being conceited.

"Well if you need help with anything just let me know," Penny said. "My neighbors will be more than willing to carry boxes for you."

Cleo laughed. "Yeah it was kind of a shock when there was…no elevator. You could help me with one thing. Where is the nearest grocery store? My roommate and I still haven't even gotten the essentials yet."

Penny thought for a second, and then said, "The closest one is ten minutes away. But if you guys want you can have dinner with us. We usually get take out."

"Penny!" Sheldon practically shouted. Both women stared at him. He continued with a forced calm, "A moment outside, please?"

Penny rolled her eyes. "This will just be a moment," she promised Cleo.

The two old friends walked outside, and Sheldon shut the door. Penny crossed her arms waiting for whatever bout of crazy would spew from his lips.

"Penny I must object to your invitation. It is _our _apartment we dine at every night if you recall not yours. Therefore you have no say who comes and goes and who eats with us. I won't allow it. You're not part of the roommate agreement."

"You're right," Penny replied casually. "So I don't have to follow the rules."

She opened the door and called out to Cleo, "We usually eat around 7. See you tomorrow."

Cleo smiled, and continued with her laundry. She felt like Alice at the Tea Party.

###

The gang got together in their usual places eagerly anticipating the arrival of the new tenant. Everyone, that is, except Sheldon, who sulked in his spot.

"It's just two more mouths to feed," he muttered begrudgingly. "Soon we'll have an entire Mexican family and a couple of hobos and all the stray cats from the back alley with us."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "It's not that bad, Sheldon. Who knows. After an evening with you they might never want to see us again."

"Yeah," Penny agreed. "As l long as no one mentions they can install WiFi."

"And as long as they're not attractive," Howard said, and then noticing a glare from his wife to be, added, "not that…that would matter."

Suddenly, there were muffled voices behind the door.

"…have to wear the top?" Cleo was whispered harshly.

There was a heavy sigh, supposedly her roommate. "I can't help it. I just got off work!"

"Speaking of that…" She lowered her voice dramatically. The gang leaned in, trying to hear. However, only Sheldon could make out verbatim what Cleo was whispering.

"No one here knows what I do for a living as far as earning money goes. I want to make a good impression. So just don't…mention it, ok?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," her friend insisted.

"Ellen…" Cleo groaned.

"Ok, Ok," the roommate said. "Your dirty little secret is safe with me."

And then there was the knock.

Everyone looked at each other at once.

"Come in!" Penny shouted.

The door opened revealing Cleo, now freshened up in skinny jeans, and a vintage T-shirt. Beside her stood one of the most beautiful women Penny had ever seen. She was tall, with luscious black hair, pouty lips, and a low cut halter top. Everyone in the room stared at her—all but Sheldon who was picking at his food.

"Bring on the stray cats," he mumbled, perhaps the only male despondent to see a beautiful woman grace their apartment.

Penny stood up. "Cleo I'm so glad you could make it! This must be your…roommate."

"Hi," Ellen said, shaking her hand. The two beautiful girls sized each other up, while Cleo stood there awkwardly, not even competition between the South American beauty and the corn-bred belle.

Penny cleared her throat and faced the group. "Cleo. Ellen (she said Ellen's name somewhat spitefully) these are my friends. Leonard—he's sort of the normal one—Raj—he can't speak to women—Bernadette and Howard—they're engaged—and of course Cleo you met Sheldon."

"Hello again, Spock," Cleo greeted.

Sheldon glared at her, but when Penny gave him a raised eyebrow, he said without any enthusiasm, "Hello again."

"Dig in guys!" Penny said excitedly. The two girls made themselves comfortable on the floor, and opened their respective boxes of fried rice.

"What brings you girls to LA?" Bernadette asked in her usual chirping voice.

Cleo and Ellen exchanged a quick glance, as if they were both hiding a secret. The act did not go unnoticed by Sheldon.

"Well," Cleo replied, "I came down here to write for a social justice blog and magazine."

"Like the Justice League?" Leonard joked.

"Kind of. It's a blog that deals with the political and social issues in the LA area. For instance the article I'm working on now is a synagogue's response to two Rabbi's wanting to get married to one another."

"So when you said 'kind of' you meant nothing like the Justice League," Sheldon quipped. Everyone stared at him, and he continued, "Well I doubt Superman and Batman spent their time investigating homosexual marriages between Rabbi's."

"Yeah Batman was probably too busy struggling with his own homoerotic feelings towards Robin," Cleo shot back.

Sheldon gave her an acidic glare, but before an argument could escalate Howard said loudly, "Well that sounds fascinating, Cleo! If you want some insight into Jewish customs I'm sure I could help. What about you, Ellen?" He asked somewhat eagerly. "Do you…write for the magazine?"

"No," she said casually, "I'm an actress."

"Of course," Penny muttered begrudgingly.

Ignoring Penny's protests Howard asked, "Have you been in anything? You look familiar."

At this, Cleo's eyes grew wide with fright, and she looked directly at Ellen, petrified.

Uncertainly, Ellen answered, "Well I…I haven't been in anything worth noting yet."

"No, no," Howard persisted, "I _know _I've seen you in something. Maybe—"

"ELLEN, have you tried this FRIED RICE? It's to DIE FOR!"

Cleo dug a forkful from her box and stuffed it into Ellen's mouth. Now everyone was glancing oddly at each other. Except of course Sheldon, who continued to stare at Cleo intently.

"That was delicious," Ellen said, swallowing the giant clump of rice.

"I've heard of the blog you were talking about, Cleo," Bernadette said, hoping to redirect the conversation away from Ellen. "It's non-profit. What do you do for money?"

"Yes, _Cleo_ what do you do for money?" Sheldon asked accusingly.

Cleo stared at them all. "I DJ. And…I do freelance work."

"I see," Sheldon said in mock-awe. "And that's enough to pay rent every month? Along with utilities? Groceries? Clothes?"

"Yes," Cleo replied flatly, her eyes still wide with terror.

"Cleo is an _amazing _writer," Ellen gushed. "She's written a Pilot for a TV show. She'd never admit it but that's the real reason she came to LA."

"What's it about?" Penny asked, genuinely interested. If it did happen to take off she at least wanted an 'in'.

"It's a high school drama," Cleo explained, more relaxed now. "It's based on my sister and I's life growing up in Portland. You know. The crazy shenanigans kids get into at school. Anyway, that's really boring…what do you guys do?"

"Wait," Howard interjected. "I'm starting to remember where I've seen Ellen…I think it was on a late night program…"

"We need to leave!" Cleo exclaimed. "Right now. I can't believe I forgot…that thing. That I. Forgot. Yes. It was so nice meeting you all. Have a good evening!"

With that, Cleo raced out of the apartment. Ellen sat for a moment longer, as startled as the rest of the group was.

"Well I guess I should be leaving too," she said uncertainly. "Goodnight everyone."

She picked up her wallet, smiled, and left the room.

"Don't make it _to _obvious you want to have sex with her, Howard," Bernadette snapped, before disappearing into the bathroom.

Sheldon continued staring at the door with Howard as well, but for entirely different reasons.

_###  
><em>

_Knock, knock, knock. _"Penny."  
><em>Knock, knock, knock. <em>"Penny."  
><em>Knock, knock, knock. <em>"Penny."

Penny opened the door giving Sheldon her usual 'what the hell do you want' stare.

"We need to talk about the new tenants," he said urgently.

Penny rolled her eyes. "Sheldon, they were just scared off by Howards flirting and your typical condensation. Of course, that was pretty funny what Cleo said about Batman and Robin."

Sheldon's scowl deepened. The memory of Cleo practically calling Batman a pedophile fueled his desire to tell Penny his suspicions about the new tenants.

"Penny, I think Cleo and Ellen do something illegal for money," he said. "They probably sell drugs. But my best guess is that they're prostitutes."

His long time neighbor put her hand on her hip. "_Really_?"

It was an outlandish assumption even for him.

"Any time work was brought Cleo went into a state of panic," Sheldon said. "Her eyes dilated. Her breath quickened. She rushed out before I could give her my questionnaire on living habits. Plus, she acted bat-shit crazy."

Penny rolled her eyes. She couldn't deny that Cleo had seemed on edge when the subject of work was brought up between her or her roommate, Ellen.

"I don't know what to say, Sheldon," she replied exasperated. "Maybe they're just embarrassed about what they do. Maybe they're plumbers. Or strippers."

"Perhaps Ellen but definitely not Cleo," Sheldon observed. "She doesn't have the body type for desperate men in those kinds of clubs."

"Then…she's a secret agent."

"She must be the worst secret agent in the world."

"You're exhausting me, Sheldon. Goodbye."

Penny slammed the door in his face. Sheldon stormed off.

He wasn't done, yet.


	2. Irrationailty

**Thanks for all the encouraging reviews :D I appreciate them all.**

**Chapter Two: The Irrationality Complex**

The smoke alarm was going to die.

Cleo stood on the chair, gripped the headless broom firmly in her hands, and swung like a drug addict beating heroine out of a piñata. With each hit she let out a battle cry, until finally the alarm was a dented heap on the floor.

In the room below, Sheldon stared at the ceiling, mortified.

###

"It's not that I think you're crazy," Leonard assured, although the statement was not entirely true. "I just don't know what you want me to _do _about it."

"Call the police, obviously!"

Leonard gave his long time roommate an exhausted look. "Why don't _you_ call the police?"

"I did. They hung up on me," Sheldon sighed. "Something about having no evidence. Plus the World of Warcraft incident."

Leonard shook his head. He couldn't help but be frustrated at Penny a little for this—she _knew _how Sheldon reacted to change. Irrationally. And given their new neighbors behavior last night, Sheldon was never going to let this go. Soon, the situation would spiral out of control and the police would show up. Except they'd be carrying Sheldon out of the apartment in a strait jacket.

"I'll be back," Sheldon said, tucking a folder under his arms.

"Where are you going?" Leonard asked, not really wanting to know the response.

Sheldon gave him a wild look. "To get to the bottom of this."

Leonard knew resistance was futile.

_###  
><em>

_Knockknockknock. _"Cleo."  
><em>knockknockknock. <em>"Cleo."  
><em>knockknockknock. <em>"Cleo."

"Coming," Cleo yawned, the morning still in her voice. She shuffled over to the door, and opened it just a crack.

"Oh. Good morning, Spock."

"While I'm flattered by the characterization, I am still baffled as to how you drew that conclusion, given you had no prior knowledge of my Trekkie infatuation," Sheldon said.

"Shh," Cleo hushed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "My roommate is asleep."

In reality she was not concerned with waking Ellen, given the sleeping beauty had not stirred during the earlier ruckus. Cleo just could not deal with her neighbor's version of 'good morning.'

"Of course," Sheldon said, lowering his voice. "But about the Spock reference you didn't—"

"You were wearing Star Trek shirt in the laundry room," the young girl whispered sharply. "Spock is the only Star Trek character I know."

Sheldon closed his eyes, remaining calm. "That was a _Star Wars _shirt with a Stormtrooper mask on the front," he explained.

"Oh."

Cleo felt like she had gotten a very obvious answer on a test wrong.

An awkward silence followed.

"So uhm…what do you want?"

Sheldon produced a packet of papers from his messenger bag and handed them to Cleo. "I have this for you. I wasn't able to give it to you last night due to your abrupt departure." He gave her a minute to explain herself, but was only met with confused silence." It's a questionnaire for you and your roommate."

"Like for money?" Cleo asked hopefully, flipping through the pages.

"More for personal use. I've divided it up to three categories: Living and Personal Habits, Noise Making, and Sex. I want to know if I have to worry if any of those disrupt any of my own schedules."

"Mmmhmm." Cleo scanned the stapled questionnaire. She looked up at him. "Can I ask you something first?"

"Of course."

"Are you like a… crazy person?"

"No," Sheldon practically growled." My mother had me tested. I'm _not _crazy."

Cleo yawned again. "Well. That's good to know. Do you want to have breakfast?"

The question caught Sheldon off guard. He considered for a moment and then asked, "Can you make waffles?"

"Of course."

"From scratch? Not like frozen waffles?"

She nodded groggily.

"With chocolate chips?"

"Naturally."

"Can you arrange them into a smiley face?"

"Sure."

"Extra fluffy?"

"Yes."

"What kind of maple syrup do you have?"

"Aunt Jemima."

He continued thinking it over. "Alright. I do like waffles."

Sheldon followed her in.

Cleo had learned a valuable lesson in life a long time ago: be nice to the crazy person.

When that crazy person decided to do something really insane—like plant an army of skunks inside the high school—they might give you a heads up because you did their homework and sat with them at lunch. Thus while all your friends had to bathe in tomato soup; you just happened to stay home that day, "sick with a cold".

"So what do you do, Sheldon?" Cleo asked, taking out the waffle maker.

"I'm a theoretical physicist," Sheldon replied, looking for a 'spot.' However, little of the apartment had been unpacked. While "Kitchen" and "Bathroom" were empty, all the other boxes remained full. Sheldon sat uncomfortably in the only chair available, and looked around. Next to him was a picture of Cleo, with her arm around a beaming elderly woman. They were both holding oversized wine glasses filled to the brim.

"That's my Gram Gram," Cleo explained.

Sheldon couldn't help but feel more comfortable. Anyone who was close to their mee-maw couldn't be all that bad.

Right?

"Ugh I need to find the recipe for the batter. Hold on," Cleo disappeared into her room, and emerged back with an armful of cookbooks.

"Do you mind looking through these and see which one is labeled 'Bontecou's recipes? I'm gonna wash my hands real quick. The soap is in the bathroom."

Hesitantly Sheldon got up, and started carefully going through the large pile of cookbooks. He found the one labeled Bountecou—and then his eyes grew large with horror at the sight of the book underneath it.

Cleo appeared once more into the kitchen only to find her strange neighbor missing.

"Weird," just muttered aloud.

Perhaps her life lesson wasn't so wise after all.

###

Sheldon rarely found the need to run. Even now, he was more or less quickly hustling down the flight of stairs, and in his haste nearly collided into Leonard and Penny.

"See?" Leonard snapped, pointing at the terrified looking man-child. "You've got him all worked up."

"On the contrary it's not Penny that has me worked up this time," Sheldon said. "It is in fact our new neighbors. I was right about their engagement of illegal activities. I have evidence now."

Penny and Sheldon exchanged a wary glance.

"Let's see it," Penny demanded.

Sheldon produced from his messenger bag the cookbook that had caused him so much panic. Penny's eyebrow furrowed at the cover.

"What is it?" Leonard asked.

"101 Ways to Cook Cannabis," Sheldon answered for her. "You see? They're starting a drug cartel right above our heads."

"You can't know that for sure," Leonard argued. "Where did you get this, anyway?"

"From their kitchen."

"You _stole _from them? Wait…did they even let you in the apartment?"

Sheldon gave him a wide eyed look. "I think given the circumstances I was justified in taking the hard evidence! Now we can go to the police!"

"Sheldon, sweetie, you can't just _take _things from other people's apartments just because you think they might be doing something wrong," Penny explained patiently. "You have to give this back."

"And what? Let them carry on with their drug trade?"

"Whose drug trade?"

The three friends stopped in stunned silence.

Cleo was standing at the bottom of the steps, utterly perplexed. "Sheldon…what's wrong? I was just about to make waffles and you disappeared on me."

"Did someone say waffles?" another female voice asked.

"Oh boy," Penny muttered under her breath.

Ellen appeared behind Cleo, wearing only a button down shirt.

"What's going on?" she asked groggily. "And what the hell were you doing this morning?"

"Killing the fire alarm. It's been beeping non-stop," Cleo explained casually.

"That's what she wants us to believe," Sheldon whispered loudly so everyone could hear.

"What is that supposed to _mean_?" Ellen asked. And then her gaze fell on the book in Penny's hands. "Oh my God…is that _ours_?"

"Yes it is," Leonard hastily replied. "Our friend here was just a little concerned that you might…well that the two of you were…"

"Baking marijuana?" Cleo finished for him.

Leonard nodded, embarrassed at the situation.

Ellen put her hand on her hip. "Uhm, are you freaking _kidding _me? He just _took _that from our apartment without permission?"

"Ellen," Cleo said, giving her a stern look. She then addressed her attention to Sheldon. "Sheldon…that was given to us as a gag gift. You know pot is to California as peaches are to Georgia or oranges are to Florida."

"California is known for its oranges as well," Sheldon pointed out.

"Regardless, one of my friends gave it to me as a joke. That's all. And honestly, I mean, I don't it's fair to ask us to fill out a questionnaire when you're kind of the one taking our stuff."

"He's taken more than one thing?" Ellen shrieked.

"No, Ellen," Cleo replied calmly. "I'm just saying, Sheldon, please be respectful of our things."

This did not satisfy Cleo's roommate. "I want him out of this apartment," she said, crossing her arms. "I don't feel safe with him here."

"Excuse me," Sheldon interjected. "But I was here _long _before you were, thus based solely on principle, if you have a problem, _you _should be the one to leave, since my presence here is far more established. Furthermore, I have given you no reason to feel threatened or unsafe. I'm not going to, if I may quote the Youtube phenomenon, 'snatch yo people up.' Your roommate invited me in for waffles. I saw the book and felt rightfully concerned."

Ellen stared at him with a WTF expression. "Ok. All I got from that was my dumbass roommate just let you come in to our apartment." She glared at Cleo. "Are you just going to invite any and every stranger you meet? Do you not see what happens?"

Cleo stared at her roommate blankly. "Do you even know the name of the guy sleeping in your bed right now?"

"Oh, so now you're going to _judge _me?"

"No," Cleo replied. "But when you're making the person who just stole a gag gift from our apartment look normal you might want to consider chilling out."

"How can I chill out when people are stealing things from our room!" Ellen whined, and then threw her arms on her side. "I can't live like this, Cleo. He's right. I'm just going to move out."

With that, Ellen stormed upstairs.

"What…just happened?" Cleo asked.

"I think Sheldon scared your roommate into leaving," Leonard said, racked with guilt. He glanced at Penny, who stared down at her shoes.

"Well," Sheldon said casually, "One down one to go."

Cleo gave him a wide-eyed, hurt look.

As he opened the door to his apartment, he looked back at Cleo and said, "I expect that questionnaire to be filled out by tomorrow."


End file.
